I’m going to interrupt my series about my recent travels with a quick post about a Sex Plan…
What the fuck is a sex plan Lady Taylor? Well it is exactly what it sounds. A plan to get fucked. With a date and time. No questions about whether or not it will happen, the plan is for sex.
This sex plan was made with a good friend of mine named Carl. Carl is the person who introduced me to polyamory this year. I met him when Ron and I were broken up for a while, and Carl made no secret of the fact that he wanted to get into my pants. At first the polyamory idea put me off to be honest, the idea of monogamy having been so ingrained in me from birth. I think what I fear most about polyamory is not being important to people, is just being another random fuck. Unless it is a definite one-night stand I want to be someone who is liked, appreciated, and is made to feel important. I like to have sex with people more than once, you get better at it as you get to know their body.
Carl took me as his date to his birthday party, I had a great time with him, and we went back to my place afterwards. He tried to take my clothes off and….I just couldn’t. I was very attracted to him, but I was still in love with both Ron and Theo, Ron had only just moved out and Theo was still fucking me around. Literally. (He was still fucking me, and fucking with my emotions). I was afraid to add Carl to the mix. He seemed okay with it, and we just cuddled. I had a great time with him, but after he left I decided not to see him for a while because I needed to sort my emotions out first.
Shortly after this Ron moved back in, Theo and I stopped seeing each other, and speaking to each other, and making eye contact. At the time I was trying monogamy again, and so Carl got the hint and moved on. We spent a lot of time together and became good friends. I was still very attracted to him.
Ron and I began going to counselling and I suggested we try polyamory. Ron said he needed to think about it. It was around this time that Carl invited me to come and look at the stars with him through his telescope. It was freezing, and we lay very close together on a picnic blanket, looking at the stars, drinking wine. I kissed Carl, and told him I was trying to get Ron to go for the polyamory thing. We went back to Carl’s place. Carl said, “We can’t have sex. Ron needs to be okay with it first.” I agreed. He did tie me to his bed though, and we made out like that for a while. I found it extremely exciting.
A month later Ron agreed. I continued to spend time with Carl, and kiss him when we were together, and while there was groping involved, he never tried to sleep with me. I sent him a message asking what was going on. He said, that his attraction for me had faded, that it had changed into a kind of “intense affection” as opposed to a sexual attraction and that he did not know why. I was annoyed and perplexed. He apologized for confusing me, claiming he was confused himself. I was very disappointed. I regretted not sleeping with him when I had the chance, now. But maybe that’s just the reaction to being told you can’t have something, you want more. We continued to kiss, and grope a bit, but he would always stop it before it became too sexual. Thus, my seductions were failing.
He started dating another girl here in town, who I have known for years, and don’t like much. I was insanely jealous. He also ended things romantically between us completely, saying it was confusing our relationship, and that we needed definite boundaries between friendship and romance to make it easier for us to define our relationship. I said that was fine, then we did not need to be friends. He said that would devastate him, because I meant so much to him. I said, “If I mean so much to you, then if you had to choose between me and your new primary girlfriend who would you choose?”. I know that was an unfair thing to say, but I was furious at him and felt rejected. He said, “It would be awful to do that, but I would choose you. With her it is mostly sex, with you, you’re very important to me.” I don’t know if I believed him, but the fact that he had said it meant something to me. He swore to keep his girlfriend away from me and the bar I worked at, and spent time with me alone, just the two of us. I still longed for him sexually, but I agreed to just be friends who occasionally kissed “hello” and “goodbye”, and held hands sometimes when watching movies. He admitted another reason he shied away from the idea of sex was because he was afraid things would become awkward between us. I thought this a silly reason, but I suppose it is valid, especially after how things turned out with The Shy Boy: we barely speak now.
A month ago we were having a conversation about how his GF is leaving in November for Mauritius and then to teach in Korea, and so they will break up. I mentioned that I am also leaving at the end of November, and I would quite like to have sex before I leave. I just came out and said it. He said he would think about it. I went travelling shortly after, and then so did he after I got back. I saw him on Friday for the first time in weeks. While we were walking to lunch, he said, “I’ve been thinking about what you said. And yes, I want to, as well. Before you leave.” I was quite surprised actually. He has had 6 months to tell me he wants to fuck me, and I would have arrived at his doorstep in lingerie.
Perhaps it’s because there is not much chance of it being awkward now, as I leave at the end of the month. If it does go wrong, and it is awkward, I will be miles away. He and his GF have a sort of monogamous relationship here in this town, although he can do whatever he likes when he is in other cities. Thus he asked me to wait until she leaves. It was originally going to be the 20th (today!!) but her flight was pushed back to the 25th. The DAY she leaves. I am basically going to show up as soon as she is gone. He has asked me not to mention this to anyone, hehe, because he thinks it will make him look bad. But she did know she was going to be dating someone polyamorous, and they are breaking up. And my relationship with him predates hers. Besides, this sex has been 6 months coming.
And thus the date has been set. Sex plan for the 25th. I will be in town for 5 days afterwards. Let’s see what happens.