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Overshare: The Blog

~ Lady Taylor Lynx, a 28 year old bisexual, polyamorous woman, recounts her sexual and emotional explorations and escapades. No filter, just overshare. Sex – Positive, part erotica, part psychologist.

Overshare: The Blog

Tag Archives: ex

“I’ll have a large order of drama to go with a side order of sex, please” part 5

20 Tuesday Nov 2012

Posted by Lady Taylor Lynx in Current escapades, Escapades of 2012

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awkward, bartender, bisexual, CCG, confessions, creepy guy, douche, drooling, embaressing, escapades, ex, ex-girlfriend, gross guy, gross kissing, Kelly, kissing, making out in the bathroom, missing an ex, overshare, polyamory, propositioning, sex, sex blog, sex stories, showing off, smoking, Taylor, threesome

Chapter 2: The Almost Threesome from Hell, Part 2

This post follows from Part 4, the story continues directly.

TRYING TO TAKE THE PLUNGE

Kelly said, “No that story is embarrassing, it makes me look bad!” To which CCG responded, “No it doesn’t, it’s funny. But you don’t have to tell it.” “Well you’ve brought it up, so I have to tell it now.” she said. The story that CCG was so desperate for Kelly to recount to me was that, after their first date they went back to her place, and apparently CCG was being respectful and not presuming anything was going to happen. They had been kissing in the kitchen when apparently Kelly had said, “Stop being so fucking subtle” and pulled him by the collar into her bedroom. I don’t know why CCG was so desperate for me to hear this story, perhaps he was trying to show me how sexually desirable he was. It wasn’t working.

I excused myself and went to the bathroom. The walls were obviously very thin, or perhaps they were just talking very loudly, because I could hear them while I was in there. CCG said, “I can see why you keep her.” Um, what? Am I a pet? A sex slave? Is he saying he sees why she keeps me as a friend? How would he know? He has known me for twenty minutes. Kelly responded, “I know right, she is awesome.” I smiled at this, and waited to see if they would say anything else, but it was quiet.  So I rinsed my hands, and went to resume my place on the sex couch.

CCG did not leave us alone for one second that afternoon. I told Kelly about the tough year I was having, the fallout I had had with many friends not understanding my polyamory and judging me for it. That I had had to quit my bartending job to avoid certain people who had hurt me to such a level that I couldn’t be in the same room as them (will do a long post about this stuff in detail at some point. A man named Theo broke my heart over and over again this year, and basically lived in the bar where I worked). We chatted about my views that society can’t handle sexually positive and overt females and so tries to slut shame them. I also spoke about the struggles I was having with my thesis. CCG tried to involve himself constantly on every topic. He repeatedly interrupted both Kelly and I. Kelly would respond with, “Babe, I’m talking.” Or “Babe I’m in the middle of a sentence” but he would just ignore her, and carry on talking over her. I tried to keep talking when he interrupted me, focusing my speech at Kelly, because I really didn’t care what CCG had to say or thought about what I was saying. His interjections sounded as though they were directly copy-pasted from Wikipedia to his lips. I find this a lot with people who are desperate to be thought of as smart: They use very big words and phrases they have memorized, for example, he kept saying, “yes it’s an ad hominem fallacy”.  Why not just say, “yes, they’re attacking you personally instead of engaging with your argument/belief system.” It means the same thing. Using big words does not make you smart, and in this case, it made him look like a pretentious douche. Because he repeated that phrase about 7 times.

He also repeatedly told me how attractive I was, how he could see why Kelly was so attracted to me, and asked if I would be keen to “play around” with both of them later that evening. I tried to avoid the questions, because, yes I wanted to sleep with Kelly, but I did not want to sleep with CCG. I didn’t want him anywhere near me. So I either ignored the questions, or laughed and then changed the subject. At one point, perhaps CCG is not as obtuse as I thought, and was getting the hint, CCG said, “Of course, if just you and Kelly want to reconnect alone together I would be okay with that. I would be really upset, and I would probably listen at the door, but I would be okay with it.” I so desperately wanted to say, “Yes that’s what I want!!! Thank you! Thank you!” But I didn’t say anything. I don’t really know why. Maybe I have a problem being assertive. Maybe I didn’t want to hurt CCG’s feelings, let him know how unattractive I found him to his face. I think it was a combination of those, as well as being in their personal space and wanting to keep Kelly happy. And when CCG said this, Kelly didn’t say anything. Which seemed to indicate that if any sex was to happen, she wanted CCG to be involved. History was repeating itself: If I wanted to fuck Kelly, I was going to have to let the creepy man she was attracted to be involved.

Kelly cooked us supper, it was an ostrich stew with rice. I had never eaten ostrich before, and didn’t really like the taste of it, but I didn’t want to offend her so I ate most of it. While we ate we watched “Rock of Ages”, the three of us on the couch, with Kelly, thankfully, in the middle, so that I could easily brush against her and smell the sweet combination of her sweat and her skin. I’d never seen Rock of Ages before, I found it entertaining and enjoyed a lot of the music, occasionally singing along to some of the songs (yes, I am one of THOSE people). At one point CCG said, “Oh, she knows Whitesnake! What a turn on.” I feel as though someone needs to sit CCG down and just tell him he is trying way too hard. When the movie ended CCG came to sit next to me and asked, “So are you keen for anything to happen?” I swallowed. I realized there was another reason I found him so unappealing, and that was his accent and his lisp. I won’t mention his exact accent as I don’t want to give away too much about my actual location, but it isn’t one I find particularly appealing. And there was something very strange about the way he moved his mouth and formed his words, something almost childlike, which seemed very odd on this grown, hairy, bearded, pierced, 2 tone hair-dyed man. I had picked up on it right away, and couldn’t stop focusing on it. I once found someone with a lisp really attractive, so maybe it was just that it was the lisp, combined with the accent, combined with his general demeanor and eagerness. I felt like quite a bitch when I discovered why he had the lisp. It had come up in conversation that afternoon that CCG had taken 2 weeks leave recently due to needing dental surgery. Apparently his inept dentist had put braces on him as a young child without realizing that his milk teeth hadn’t fallen out yet, and with nowhere to go, his adult teeth had grown up into his upper jaw, while his milk teeth rotted and decayed. Thus his entire top row of teeth was actually a denture, but I didn’t realize this til the next morning when I saw them soaking in a glass on the basin. But even with the backstory, and knowing it made me a bitch, I still found it really unappealing. He had also mentioned that since he had had this surgery so recently, he wasn’t allowed to use his jaw much, and so he couldn’t go down on anyone for a while. I celebrated in my head, hoping this meant that he wouldn’t try to engage with me too much.

In response to his question, “So are you keen for anything to happen?” I said, “Um, it’s likely, but I want to go out first. I’m almost never in this town and I want to go out”. In reality, I wanted more alcohol to make me feel less awkward. The glass of wine with supper had not been enough. He said, “Okay but kiss me first.” So I did. He had a very big mouth and he kind of slobbered on me a lot around my mouth from opening his mouth too wide. I pulled away from him as quick as I could without seeming rude, and then Kelly pulled me toward her and kissed me. It lasted for much longer and she tasted distantly familiar. After we broke apart she said, “I’ve been wanting to do that since you walked in the door.” I smiled at her. CCG broke in and said, “We can go out but we don’t have any money, we only have our wedding fund, and we can’t spend any of that.” So I offered to buy them each a drink, because I desperately wanted to get out of the house for a bit, and I hoped that maybe at a bar I might be able to get Kelly alone a bit more. They agreed, and while Kelly and I put on some make-up, CCG put on some of the scariest metal plated platform shoes I have ever seen. Having had my right foot cracked by a man wearing a shoe very similar to that in 2007, I prayed he would be keeping his feet away from me. Kelly then put on some ridiculously high stilettos. Apparently having the alcohol tolerance of a small squirrel Kelly appeared to be already stumbling all over the place after only one glass of wine, and her chosen shoes for the evening were not helping.

We got into CCG’s car and he drove us to a smoky bar, his metal music blasting the whole way there making conversation impossible. The night was hot and a gust of humid air hit us as we got out the car so that we were sweating by the time we entered the bar. I got us each a drink, flirting with the bartender a little because now I was in a flirty, come hither mood. CCG made a point of putting an arm around both of us as much as possible, as if to say to ever other man in the room, “Yup, they’re BOTH mine. Wanna compare dick size now???”. This annoyed me to no end. Yes I had resigned myself to probably having to fuck him, but I did not feel like being paraded around as this asshole’s trophy. So I kept claiming that the alcohol had “gone straight through me” and dragging Kelly off to the bathroom with me, where, thankfully, CCG could not come in (well, not unless he wanted a lot of dirty looks from all the girls in it.) We locked ourselves into a stall and made out for ten minutes, until eventually CCG came knocking on the main bathroom door shouting out for us to hurry the fuck up.

CCG then made a point of making out with us each in turn, and then expecting us to make out in front of him. It all felt quite staged, but I went along with it, enjoying kissing Kelly, and allowing CCG to slobber on me as long as was polite. I did not hide the fact that I wiped mouth every time after he kissed me.  When I went to buy us some shots the bartender asked me why I was kissing everyone, and I just shrugged. He asked me if I would kiss him, and I said, sure okay, but then a woman appeared behind the bar and he whispered that that was his girlfriend and that he would try to find me later.

I had the sudden urge to smoke. Maybe it was the horniness, the feeling of being watched in a bar, all the smoke around  me, the alcohol, but I needed a cigarette. I hadn’t smoked in 2 weeks, I had been trying to quit, and it turned out CCG had also been trying to quit, and hadn’t smoked in 3 months. I didn’t care. I found the box of cigarettes still in my handbag from weeks before and realized there was only one left. I said to CCG, “I’m sorry, I know you’re trying to quit, but I need one. I will just have the one.” He said, “It’s fine, just give me a drag because otherwise you will taste bad.” I wished I did, maybe then he would stop. He took several drags, and the cigarette was soon gone. I craved another. I spotted a relatively attractive man in his forties smoking and I sauntered over and asked him for a cigarette. He was very obliging. I leaned forward so that he could light my cigarette, and enjoyed the attention he was giving me. I realized that Kelly and CCG were arguing about something, so I entertained myself for the next half an hour or so by seeing how many of the men in this bar would give me a cigarette. Now, in the small town I am from, I am not considered that attractive. The people who do know about my polyamory, most of them think it is odd, some have gone as far as to call me a “whore”. Maybe it is the fact that I have lived here for 6 years and everybody knows everyone in this tiny student town, so there is nothing novel about me anymore. But it seems as though every time I go to a big city I am leered at by men. It’s refreshing. It’s an ego boost. I realized that I could probably have slept with quite a few people at that bar if I had wanted to. This made me feel good.

Eventually I wondered back to CCG and Kelly to find out what was going on, and because I was starting to get bored. They both stood up as I arrived and CCG said, “Just wait here, we need to go and draw money.” And so they just left me there, before I could say, “I thought you didn’t have any money?”. So I sat in the corner smoking my many cigarettes which I had accumulated for about twenty minutes until they reappeared. They said, “Let’s go”, but I said I had money for one more drink why don’t we share it? And they agreed. I got one more drink, and left it with CCG for a bit, who also took my cigarette out of my hand, and Kelly and I went to the bathroom for a bit. She didn’t seem shy about peeing in front of me, and so I did the same, but there was nothing sexual about it.

By the time we got back CCG had finished both the drink and the cigarette. Oh well, guess it was time to leave then. I realized they were still fighting as we got into the car and CCG punched something into the GPS.  It was going something like this:

CCG: But it’s our wedding fund and now we have to go there in the middle of the night.

Kelly: Babe, but I am jonesing for one so bad! Please don’t be mad at me!

CCG: But you’re already drunk!

Kelly: Yes, but I want a joint!

They continued like this for quite a while ad nauseum. We arrived at some affluent suburb, CCG’s music still blaring, trying to locate the drug dealer.  Kelly the number she had for him, and a phone rang somewhere to our right. He was standing behind a large gate. As he let us in, he said, “Jees, you guys were making such a noise.” We had just been told off by a drug dealer.

To be continued…

Next time: THE ALMOST SEX, THE MORNING AFTER, AFTERMATH

Growl,

Lady Taylor

“I’ll have a large order of drama to go with a side order of sex, please” part 4

02 Friday Nov 2012

Posted by Lady Taylor Lynx in Current escapades, Escapades of 2012, History and Backstory

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annoying, awkward, bisexual, CCG, creepy guy, dating, ex, ex-girlfriend, fiance, forward, gross guy, interrupting, Kelly, missing an ex, overshare, polyamory, propositioning, sex, sex on couch, sex stories, Taylor, threesome

Chapter 2: The Almost Threesome from Hell, Part 1

A BIT OF BACKSTORY: Kelly aka “One of the many that got away.”

In 2009 I met a girl, let’s call her Kelly. I didn’t know it then, but she would become the benchmark by which I would measure all women I would later be attracted to. I was instantly attracted to Kelly and was very pleased to discover that she, too, was bisexual. We both took part in a nude photo exhibition as part of a “My Body My Choice” campaign and ended up hanging out a lot during the process – plus when the photos were exhibited we got to see each other in various states of undress. We’d now seen each other naked and it wasn’t awkward, thankfully.

Kelly appeared to be as drawn to me as I was to her. There was just one problem: Kelly did not know what the fuck she wanted! Having gotten out of a 6-year relationship which imploded about a year earlier, Kelly had since been playing the field and not committing to anything. In 2009 I had not yet begun exploring polyamory, I wanted a committed exclusive relationship. I wanted Kelly to be my girlfriend. And Kelly wanted to fuck people. A lot. And so Kelly and I began fooling around, hanging out a lot, cuddling, making out, groping. We hadn’t had sex yet. One night we were out in a group of friends and Kelly had brought along this weasel of a man with a ponytail whom she apparently found attractive

DISCLAIMER: I later started sleeping with this weasel of a man, so I eventually understood the attraction. That doesn’t change the fact that he is a douche, and also, quite slimey. I just have a penchant for slimey, douche weasels.

But at this stage I found SlimeyMan to be quite unappealing. He was drooling all over Kelly, and she appeared to be very into it. She was also acting really into me though, groping both of us at this bar we had gone to, the rest of the group having disappeared realizing that something strange was going on with the three of us. At one point SlimeyMan went to the bathroom, and Kelly kissed me, then said “Taylor, I can’t make up my mind. I want you both. Could we all go to your place?” I have never been very good at saying,  “No” to people I am really attracted to and desperately want to fuck, and I realized that if I wanted to fuck Kelly, it appeared that  I was going to have to fuck SlimeyMan too, or at least let him be involved. I had had one threesome before, when I had just turned 18, and it had been awkward, and with a couple who had broken up. She had been into him, he was into me, and then she hated me. So, it was not a pleasant threesome. I did not know what to expect from this one, but I was afraid it would be just as awkward. Both SlimeyMan and I really wanted to fuck Kelly, and were relatively indifferent to one another.

So we went back to my place to fuck. I proceeded to drink more than I usually would, trying to give myself some courage and force myself to relax. I suggested we stay in my lounge and do it on the couch, as my room was in total chaos, and I had hidden all the random shit and hung up washing in there in case I had people over, and they wouldn’t think I was a crazy hoarder who never cleans up. Kelly wanted to fuck on my futon though, so she insisted on going into my room, and carrying my washing and any other random shit lying on the bed – which included dirty clothes, random books, shoes and other embarrassing shit which are a reminder of the mundane, everyday life as opposed to being even remotely related to fun or sexiness – into the lounge. Once she was satisfied my room was now suitable, she dragged us both into it. I can’t really remember much of this threesome to be honest, I had drunk far too much and it happened nearly 4 years ago now. I remember it not being as awkward as I thought it would be, I remember wanting to focus on Kelly, but trying to do stuff with SlimeyMan also to try and make the threesome work, and make her happy. That’s one of the things about my relationship and friendship with Kelly, I’ve always wanted to give her what she wanted. I remember kissing her breasts and playing with her clit while he fucked her. I remember him going down on me at one point, very roughly so I didn’t enjoy it. I remember making out with her a lot, and a little with him. I remember going down on her while he fucked me at one point. I also remember I didn’t come at all that night. Things were strained, and a bit awkward the next morning. They both kissed me goodbye, and I remember feeling relieved when I had my house to myself again. I was also elated at having been able to get so physically close to Kelly the night before.

It had certainly been an experience, but it wasn’t something I had enjoyed very much overall. Thankfully things did not become awkward between Kelly and I; in fact, shortly after the threesome, she told me she had real feelings for me, and that maybe after we got back from the 2 week vacation coming up we could try being in an actual relationship. I was ecstatic. The threesome compromise had paid off, and she had chosen me. She went to Place by the Sea for her holiday, and I went to Tiny Annoying Town to see my parents for a while. Kelly and I chatted a lot over text for the first week, but suddenly she got really quiet. At first I didn’t think anything was up, and didn’t really mind. But I did miss her a lot, and was looking forward to getting back to see her. And then on the Friday before term was to start again, I noticed the following on facebook: Kelly is now in a relationship with Some Random Man. I couldn’t believe it. I was hoping it was a joke, like how friends sometime pretend they are married or dating or whatever on facebook because they think it’s amusing.

It wasn’t a joke. As soon as I got back I asked Kelly if I could see her, and she said “Yes, that’ll be good, I’ve missed you and also, there is something I need to tell you.” I already knew, she had made it facebook public for fucksakes. She told me she was devastated to hurt me, but that over the holiday she had met “the man she was going to marry.” I think I was quite pathetic. I cried a lot, and we hugged a lot, and we lay on her bed together. I remember resting my head on her breast. She would always wear these soft knit jerseys, and she smelt like perfume and wool and skin. How she went from total commitment phobia to “I’m going to marry this man, even though I have only known him for 2 weeks, and we’re starting our relationship by making it long distance” I don’t know. But she wanted him, she had decided, and it was final. We agreed to stay friends, but we parted ways romantically at that stage. At the end of that year, she finished her degree and moved back home to Place by the Sea. I stayed on to do my post-grad. Although we stayed in contact, we wouldn’t see each other in person again until this year.

CREEPYCREEPYGUY aka OH GOD WHY?

Kelly did not marry Some Random Guy, they broke up after about a year and a half. The mean, jealous part of me felt somewhat vindicated by this, even though I was now in a relationship with Ron. I never met Some Random Guy, and she has never really told me too much about why they broke up, but I know that they fought a lot. Kelly’s taste in men has always sucked horribly (although I’m one to talk I guess), and she is currently engaged to be married to CreepyCreepyGuy (CCG for short). The wedding is to take place in December, God help us all. Why such an incredible creature has decided to become legally attached to CCG, one can only speculate, for there cannot be a logical answer. I had only seen photos of CCG before this year, and on meeting him, my original opinion of his unattractiveness was confirmed.

DISCLAIMER: My dislike for CCG is not subtle, I find him very unattractive and very unappealing. However, my dislike for him may have been intensified by my intense feelings for Kelly, and jealousy that he gets to share her life in a way that I don’t, as her primary partner. So feel free to read all of my encounters and descriptions of him through that lens. My descriptions of events are entirely honest, however. And he really is a douche.

To give you a bit of a timeline, having met up and slept with The Shy Boy from Chapter 1 on Thursday night, and spent the day with him Friday, I went to stay with Kelly and CCG on Saturday night. Kelly and I had, separately, both started exploring Polyamory this year, and so I wasn’t sure what to expect when I went to go and see her. I knew that I was still attracted to her, and still feel as though she never really gave our relationship a chance; but all of our text and facebook communication had been friendly, and not overtly flirty. Perhaps we were both too scared to broach the subject before the meeting. She lives with CCG in a small flat in a large complex about 30 minutes drive from my brother’s place. Thus she suggested that he drop me off. I would stay for supper and a movie, stay over, and then she and CCG would drive me back the next day.

Not sure what to expect; I tried to accentuate the stern but sexy librarian look again: wearing a grey and black knit dress (because I know how much Kelly loves knits), tight fitting with a loose polo neck (so no visible cleavage), and a belt as usual to give me the appearance of an hour glass figure. I wore my red hair up in a tight bun, some patterned leggings, black boots and bright red lipstick. I felt attractive, but not overtly sexual. I hadn’t brought any matching underwear with me on this trip – because I actually had no idea I would be getting naked in front of people as much as I did when I packed – and so turquoise panties and a purple wonderbra were going to have to do. Having learnt something from the Scott incident, I packed quite an extensive overnight bag, this time fully prepared for the weather to change. I was not going to have to trek through mud again in 3 quarter pants, that was for sure.

I was dropped off at the gate to Kelly’s apartment complex, and told my brother he could go. I texted Kelly that I had arrived. The wind was bitingly cold, making my eyes water and going straight through the knit of my dress to my skin. It made my nipples hard, and I hoped that Kelly and CCG wouldn’t notice. While I waited, a car drove out and the gate opened, and so I wondered in. I had no idea what number apartment Kelly was in, so I just loitered in the parking lot for a while. I knew that she lived with CCG, and had not yet met him at this stage, but I hoped that maybe he wouldn’t be there, or that he would be willing to give us some space so that we could catch up just the two of us. Sex wasn’t really even on my mind at this point, I just wanted some time alone with Kelly after all these years apart. I was suddenly aware of the huge overnight bag at my side, and I hoped Kelly wouldn’t think I was trying to move in permanently. And then I saw her.  She’d walked down some stairs and stepped out into view, her hair pulled back into an easy ponytail. She was beaming at me. I beamed back and she shouted, “Hello you!” and pulled me into a tight hug. I closed my eyes as the smell of her brought back memories; desires for her which had been long since filed away into a distant folder.

We immediately fell into an easy, comfortable space, as if we hadn’t been apart at all. As we made our way up the stairs to her flat, she asked me how I was, and I began to recount the Scott story to her, explaining to her how I was really sad that he had promised to text me, and hadn’t. We entered her small flat, and it was in chaos. Her kitchen and lounge were in one room, separated by a counter, and both were filled with clothes, washing, gaming consoles, and general paraphernalia. I didn’t mind much, as this tends to be how I live. She also has 2 small dogs and 2 cats. As I was about to lean down to pat the dogs, a man appeared out of a room to my left. I had seen pictures of him, and I could tell by his two-tone hair (half of his hair is dyed bright pink, and the other bright blue. I think he is going for like a punky look?) down to his shoulders that this was CCG. And he had no pants on. Seriously, he knew I was coming over, knew Kelly had gone to let me in, and he had no pants on. No freaking pants! Just underwear. This was actually a good introduction to his personality: a kind of forceful, I don’t care if I make you feel uncomfortable, you WILL pay attention to me attitude. He said, “Sorry! I was just on a conference call, and didn’t have a chance to get dressed.” Kelly laughed and said, “Taylor this is CCG, CCG this is Taylor.” “Hi.” I said.

“Hi” he said, smiling, and then disappearing into their bedroom.

Kelly led me to their couch which has been set up in front of a large television, hooked up to a computer. We chatted some more about Scott, as I was bombarded by her dogs, and I began to tell her about what sleeping with Scott had been like. This might seem odd, but Kelly and I have always been extremely open with each other when it comes to talking about our personal lives. Besides, I’m always accused of oversharing. Thankfully she doesn’t seem to see it that way.  Kelly was in the middle of telling me she didn’t think I would be hearing from Scott again, based on his behavior, and that I should try to forget about him, when CCG walked into the room and literally interrupted her in the middle of her sentence. He did this a lot while I was there. In fact you could play a drinking game: Take a shot every time CCG interrupts someone midsentence, take a double when it is his own fiancé. You would be catatonic and in need of a liver transplant within about 2 hours. As he came into the room I realized that their bedroom door had been open and he had been listening to every word I had said. He plonked himself down on a stool in front of us and said, “I want to hear more of the story.” I responded, “Well that’s pretty much the whole thing. Something I was hoping would be more seems to have turned into a one-night stand.” He responded, “Well, he is an idiot. You know if you lose those clothes later maybe Kelly and I could help you forget all about him.”

I nearly fell off the couch. Here I was, his fiance’s sort of ex-girlfriend, whom he had JUST met 6 minutes ago, and he had already proposed a threesome. I remember thinking “Holy shit I am going to be stuck with him, because I have to stay here tonight.” Kelly laughed and said, “Baby, that has to be the fastest you’ve ever propositioned someone. Taylor, you’ve inspired a new record.” Not knowing what else to do I laughed and said, “Yeah, what was that, like a whole 6 minutes?” CCG said, “Well, we’ve been having some good success with threesomes lately. In fact just last weekend we were fucking another girl right where you are sitting” he said, gesturing at me. He turned to Kelly, saying, “And, what’s wrong with that? I mean she came in here talking about sex.”

Okay fine, yes I did. But to KELLY. Someone I have known for 4 years. Someone I have been intimate with, and have a friendship with. And even if I did start talking about sex immediately to a total stranger, does that automatically mean I am easy, that I will be happy to be immediately propositioned by and fuck that stranger? Apparently in CCG’s world, yes. Yes, it does.

Not yet sure how I felt about sitting right where they had apparently been fucking someone – although I am sure we all do this every day, having no idea – I said, “Yes, I did come in talking about sex because I was trying to ask Kelly for advice.” He ignored that comment and said, “Hang on, babe, is this THE Taylor?” He turned to me without waiting for a response from Kelly, “Are you THAT Taylor?” Having no fucking idea what he was referring to, I just raised my eyebrows while Kelly said, “Yes, she is that Taylor.”

“Awesome!” CCG said. ”I get to meet the woman you had your first threesome with! And wow, I can see why.” Kelly laughed at this, apparently used to CCG being horribly embarrassing. Well, she must be, if she is going to marry him. I laughed awkwardly, suppressing my urge to bolt out of the room as I really wanted to spend time with Kelly. I said, “Yeah I guess I’m that Taylor.” He raised his hand to me, expecting a high five, while saying, “So I guess I have you to thank for the fact that my wife-to-be is so kinky.” Not knowing what else to do, I gave him a lackluster high five. I became conspicuously aware that he was staring at my breasts. If he could have been drooling, he would have been. It wasn’t subtle either, he didn’t care that I knew he was staring at them. He was literally leaning forward on his stool, eyes locked on my chest. I found some great renditions of what CCG looks like in my head:

Drool3

(Those artists are all awesome, go check out their pages.)

Now I am forward, and I overshare a lot, but Holy Hell I had never experienced someone this blatant and forward before in my life. Desperate to fill the awkward, breast staring silence, I said, “Wow I haven’t thought about that threesome in a long time. You know I was only sleeping with SlimeyMan because I wanted to sleep with you?”

Kelly smiled at this, and said “I know, and I love you for it. Looking back I had a much better time with you, I should have just chosen to go home with you. But it certainly was an experience.”

I smiled back at her, saying, “Yes it was.” I was elated that she had said that she loved me for it. Present tense, not past. She reached out and touched my shoulder, saying, “I was so happy to hear that you guys might be moving here next year. And also that you and Ron are polyamorous now. I feel like, we never really got to explore, you and I. We never really got the chance to fully experience our relationship.” I bit back a response that, yes, that was because she had chosen someone else over me. “And if you move here, maybe that’s something we could try and explore again.” As she said those words, I realized I had desperately been hoping for this, desperately hoping she would still want me. That it wasn’t just me who had been asking, “What if?” all these years. I grinned at her, placing my hand over hers, and said, “I’d like that.”

At this point CCG piped up, saying, “Hey Kelly did you ever tell her about our first date? You should tell her that story!” Oh for fucksake, I forgot he was still here!

To be Continued…

In Chapter 2 Part 2: TRYING TO TAKE THE PLUNGE and THE (ALMOST) SEX.

In Chapter 2, Part 3: THE MORNING AFTER and AFTERMATH aka NEEDING TO MAKE BETTER DECISIONS AND BE MORE ASSERTIVE.

Growl,

Lady Taylor

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Poly Momma

My experiences with motherhood and polyamory.

Jack of All Triads

Polyamory, polyfidelity, and processing out loud

Nice Girls Like Sex Too

we hunted the mammoth

the new misogyny, tracked and mocked

Not So Standard Deviations

A statistics (etc.) blog by Hilary Parker

You've Been Hooked!

Observations from the trenches....

filled and fooled

NSFW/MATURE CONTENT

Pasta for One

Adventures of a single gal living in Italy

Finding Mr. Wrong...I Mean Right

One Girl's Journey in the Ever Complicated World of Dating

The Wandering Mind

Wanderlust Through Words

Yup, this is it.

Life. And stuff like that.

Facehookin'

Ostentatious Is The New Easy

FEMINISTS SOUTH AFRICA

SPEAKING TRUTH, EVEN WHEN OUR VOICES SHAKE

Adventures through Heteronormativity

Musings on Life for the Queerly Inclined

So Wrong (the collected pornographica of Elsie)

pornographic literature for the literate and the lusty

Piers Morgan

I Like The Smell of New Things

A Personal Journal

Midwest Sexcapades

Everything is better with sex.

My Puzzled Life

Making Sense of the Madness

voirdireblog

Where I tell the truth

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